Author: Tao Qing Hsu
There is a father who is very responsible
for his small family. He is worried about his wife and children every day, for
fear of not making enough money to provide them with a good material life.
Therefore, he is very happy as long as he has work, because it means that he
has income and can provide a good material life for his wife and children. He
works diligently every day, just to make more money, to make the family rich,
to let his son have a house and a car, so that this family can take a wife into
the door, so that the son and wife can add grandchildren and joy to the family.
The father also wanted to save and gather more money so that his daughter would
have a large dowry and get married beautifully. Of course, he still needs to
save enough retirement funds so that he and his wife will not worry in their
later years, and will not cause a burden to their children.
All this makes him live in a dream of being
a good husband and father, which can make him have a face among relatives and
friends, saying that he is a good man who loves his family. However, as long as
he has no work to do and no income, he feels anxious and very uneasy. Because
of this, his heart is furious, and he always cares about everything with the
native family. Not only as a father, but in a single-parent family, the mother
makes money to support her family, just to save money and build a house for his
son so that he can marry his wife. To this end, this mother will not hesitate
to sacrifice her daughter, and will not hesitate to squeeze her daughter's
labor and financial resources.
These parents worry about their children's
hardships for their children's bright future. Not only do these obsessive
parents work hard to make money and pay for their children’s tuition, but they
also do not want their children to spend time to work, just to help them lay
the foundation for their future career. In addition, the house also helps
children buy well, so that they have more conditions to get married and start a
family. These infatuated parents also hope that it is best to help them have
children and raise them.
The wives and children living in such a
worry-free environment have weak ability to make money and support their
families. They have always depended on the powerful fathers and husbands. Even
if these wives and children are already adults, they have a job, but they do
not earn much. They are eager for comfort and want a richer material life.
Therefore, they asked the father and husband every day to make the man live in
anxiety, just to earn more money and provide better materials for family
members to enjoy.
I saw what these obsessive parents did, and
saw the father who was anxious about money every day. In order to alleviate his
inner anxiety, I told him: "You cannot be responsible for the lives of
your wife and children. Your wife and children must be responsible for their
own lives. You must always remember this."
From our daily experience, we are often
curious about what our relatives and friends are doing. Some people are very
opinionated about the living conditions of relatives and friends, because the
current living conditions of relatives and friends are completely inconsistent
with their ideal state of mind.
For example, if someone does not have a
boyfriend or girlfriend, they ask him: "Why don't you make a
boyfriend?" If someone is single and unmarried, they ask him: "Why
don't you get married?" If someone doesn't work outside, they just ask him:
"Why not go to find a job and do it quickly?" If people don't have
children, they ask him: "Why don't you have children?" If they think
the public office is stable, they ask him: "Why not go to have an
Examination for public office?" And so on. People who raise such questions
may express a concern. However, for those who hear, they will feel that these
people are very ignorant. Why? Because these people who question others often
just look at the appearance of things from their own perspective, rather than
from the other side's perspective to understand in depth. Some people are very
personal, and they hate such questions from others, so they just say,
"What am I going to do, what am I not doing, what is your business?"
Yes! Does it matter to us whether others get married or have children?
A woman graduated from a well-known
university, and in her forties, she chose a job as an operator. Relatives and
friends felt incredible, and wondered why she made such a decision. Because of
her academic and experience, she has worked in the society for such a long
period of time, in her forties, and should have a good career, at least also
have a fairly high supervisor position, and take a high salary. Therefore,
relatives and friends asked her, "Why not go to find a better job?"
She said that in the past, her job content made her too brainy, too
nerve-wracking, and the work pressure was very heavy. The operator's work,
almost without thinking, can let her brain rest. She feels that she is very
happy to do this job.
After listening to this story, I realized
the truth: "We can't replace anyone to live their lives. "Everyone
knows his own situation best. We are outsiders. How can we know their situation
and the troubles they face? What kind of life they want to live in is only
known to them. What we can do is to respect their lifestyle and any choices.
After all, we cannot take charge of their lives, nor can we replace them to
live their lives for them. For example, assuming that they have cancer or
depression, can we replace them to bear it for them? This is absolutely
impossible, as everyone understands.
And this also led me to the following
thinking: I often squeeze cold sweat for a dictatorship? Why? A dictatorship is
like these obsessive parents, these nosy relatives and friends. They control
everything the people have. They like to interrogate and interfere with
people's freedom. In my opinion, this is replacing them to live their lives for
these people, and replace them to be responsible for their lives. To put it bluntly,
these dictatorships are too great, because they carry all the karma of the
people on their own. This is so great!
If you think about it, when you control the
people's freedom of thought and expression, it is as if you are binding a
person's hands and feet. From another point of view, you are also living his
life for him and taking on the responsibility of his life for this person, because
this person's hands and feet are tied by you. When this person's hands and feet
are tied, how can he have excellent ability to work well to make money and
support his family? Once they cannot support themselves and their families,
they become a burden for the government and the country. Either you raise him
or let him go extinct. In any case, the personal karma and responsibility of
this people will be carried on the dictatorship.
Therefore, we will see countries with
authoritarian regimes, those groups of authoritative parents and officials who
control the people in the regime, they are very active in working hard to make
money, and they are rich and powerful, they also accumulate a lot of money, and
also provide wives and children the excellent material life. Of course, they
also build houses for the people and distribute them to the people, so that the
people can get married and have a room to live in. The children born by the
people are raised by the state. Unfortunately, in countries with authoritarian
regimes, people’s ability to make money and support their families is generally
low, and most of them live in poverty. They must rely on the government to
support them. The poor people are more prone to complain and dissatisfaction
with the government, thus rebelling against the government. The authoritarian
government must use more severe means and spend more financial resources and
resources to suppress the rebellion of the people.
Therefore, when we replace anyone to
live their lives, and also replace them to take any responsibility of their
lives, it is a foolish thing to do. It is doing a thankless job. It is let any
doing things be double, but the credit is halved. We have done our own hard
work, others are not necessarily grateful, and even complain. You see, this is
really a waste of our own life.
