Chapter 23: Wife is more than a prison

(Chapter 23) A Brief Talk about The Scripture of Forty-Two Chapters Said by Buddha 

Co-translators in the time of Eastern Han Dynasty, China(A.D. 25 - 200) : 

Kasyapa Matanga and Zhu Falan (Who translated the said Scripture from Sanskrit into Chinese. )

Translator in modern time (A.D.2018: Tao Qing Hsu (Who translated the said Scripture from Chinese into English.)

Teacher and writer for explaining the said Scripture: Tao Qing Hsu

Chapter 23: Wife is more than a prison

The Buddha said, ”People are tied by wife and house, which is more than a prison. There is a date of the release for the jail. There is no thought of departure from the wife. Emotion and love about the erotic, how would they scare to offer the services? Even though the worry about the mouth of tiger exists, the heart is willing to be conquered. Throwing self into the mud and drowning self, that is why those people are called ordinary people. Those who can see through such door are the out-of-dust Arhat.

To have a wife is what a wonderful dream for each man. Many men are lost self in such dream. However, they awake in the suffering of marriage.

For the young man, that he thinks to have a wife is a normal thing. No one would question it. Even the old man, he also hopes to have a wife so that the wife can company with him and take care of him. To have a wife is what a wonderful dream for each man. Many men are lost self in such dream. However, they awake in the suffering of marriage. For the women, it is also the same. Marriage is like a siege. Those who are outside the siege hope to go into the siege. However, those who are inside the siege expect to escape from it.  

No matter man or woman, they hope to survive by relying on the marriage. Especially in the unfair society and the society of despising woman, if the women want to survive well, they have to depend on the capability, power and wealth of husband and his family. In other word, the women obtain the wealth and what she needs in life through marriage.

This is the controlled society by the males in order to maintain their power of control to the society. However, what they don’t know is that, they are also restraint by their own greed and desire, and to put them in the “jail” of marriage.

What urging men into the marriage are not their personal responsibility, but are their erotic desire.

   

Mostly, what urging men into the marriage are not their personal responsibility, but are their erotic desire. In the Asia, it is even the responsibility of their parents. That is because their parents want their son to increase the family's population, especially to have a boy, so that they can inherit the big family's interests.

Under such bias thought, the man is tied by the personal erotic desire and is led away and turned by his wife. The female knows how to use her advantage to control the man and to survive under such circumstance. It is thus formed as the shapeless jail for the man. 

Unfortunately, many people do not want to bear the big family’s responsibilities and the generated obligations, but want to enjoy the big family’s interests. So, we find a problem. In the family, the erotic desire and the greedy for fortune are existed in the husband and wife.

The husband would be conquered by his erotic desire and eager for his wife, and is thus willing to be a servant and slaver of his wife, even to be a “prisoner” in the siege of marriage.

If the wife focuses on money and values her own property too over, she would use her erotic to tie her husband so as to obtain any money and property. Then, the situation would become the arguing and fighting for her interests in the big family or in their own marriage. That is because that the wife wants to content her own greedy heart.

The husband would be thus conquered by his erotic desire and eager for his wife, and is thus willing to be a servant and slaver of his wife, even to be a “prisoner” in the siege of marriage. When the husband is in such situation, he even doesn’t care about his responsibility and obligations to his parents and his big family, even to the society and country. Then, the husband is lost self in his marriage, even to weaken his own intelligence. 

In the traditional society, the wife has no chance to work outside the family and earn her own money. How she survives is to get the money and property from his marriage. Even today, in the modern society, the wife who has the low ability to earn money would also use the way to control her husband so as to get the money and her property.

From a small prison (the marriage and family) to be a big prison (the unfair society)

And this also extends a problem. How a small house and the small property could content the husband’s and his wife’s desire? In the society, the husband is thus earning the more money to content his own and his wife’s desire. He occupies the important and special resources of the country and society, and even creates the unfair society or system through the decorated ideology, and even thus bullies others with the ridiculous reasons to make others people to be his servant and slaver.

Then, it becomes from a small prison (the marriage and family) to be a big prison (the unfair society). Many husbands want to content their own emotion and love to the erotic desire in the marriage. They have to thus become the “prisoners” in the unfair society, and to survive in the evil situation. Even to risk in life, to die, to go into the jail, they just only desire to earn more money.

That is why the Buddha said,” Even though the worry about the mouth of tiger exists, the heart is willing to be conquered.” That is, even though the erotic desire in the marriage and the evil in working environment are so dangerous as if the husbands are almost eaten by the mouth of tiger, they are also willing to risk it and to be the servant to offer any services for his wife.

What we have done and what we have thought would result in what the consequence which we have to bear.

How they scare about it? They don't scare it. The erotic desire is really to weaken those husbands’ intelligence and judgment. In other word, the erotic desire covers their natural wisdom, and affects their ability of thinking and reasoning. 

So the Buddha said that they are as throwing self into the mud and drowning self. What their erotic desire is the case to put them in danger, even to make them to die. What they have done and what they have thought would result in what the consequence which they have to bear. Thanks to they could not understand the reasons and the dangers as said above, that is why those people are called ordinary people.

However, once they could understand the reasons and dangers as said above, and could leave their erotic desire and such wife, they could get rid of any troubles and liberate self from any suffering, thus are the out-of-dust Arhat.

The dust here means troubles or suffering. Out-of-dust here means to get rid of or without of troubles and sufferings. Arhat is Sanskrit. It means one of the grades of learning Buddha.   

The most phenomena about emotion and love to the erotic in the marriage are belonged to and are concerned to the desire and the three poisons.

In Buddhism, we don't look at superficial phenomena. We also don’t look at the decorative and impermanent phenomenon. That is because that, behind of any phenomena, such as any negative phenomena in the marriage, is hidden the desire and the three poisons, even the five toxins. The three poisons are the invisible poisons, which is the heart of greed, hatred or resentment, and the stupid obsession.

The most phenomena about emotion and love to the erotic in the marriage are belonged to and are concerned to the desire and the three poisons. Such negative energy may be used to incur a lot of harm to self and others. The Buddha had carefully perceived it and always advised us to understand what the harm it would bring to us, and advised us not to indulge in the erotic desire and better to abandon it as possible as we can.

Only when we can reduce or abandon the self erotic desire, we can be a no-selfish person and think about others needs or troubles. When we help others people, it is also to help us at the same time. 

In Buddhism, no matter male or female, there are scholars or learners who not only have a marriage, but also learn Buddha well.

42 Chapters Said by Buddha is to teach the Buddhist monk how to liberate self from the suffering. The concept of chapter 23 is therefore on the stand of Buddhist monk and of the male. Even though we are not Buddhist monk, it is still valuable for us to understand and learn it.

The Buddha actually said a lot of concept to enlighten the wisdom of human beings. Chapter 23 is only one of them. Therefore, I hope that you do not be limited by the concept of this chapter. In Buddhism, there is also the scholar or learner who is not Buddhist monk. Those scholars or learners not only have a marriage, but also learn Buddha well. They are Bodhisattva, too. Such concept is also mentioned in many Buddhist Scripture.

Any concept in Buddhism, it is still applied to gender role substitutes. If the wife is more than a jail, the husband is too, which means the bad family makes people not free in mind and body. Of course, it is only the one concept from the many concepts. As a woman, I have to say, there is also a lot of virtue woman and wife who create a good family and make a good contribution to the society and country. They are deserved to discuss the issue of the society and country and to participate in politics. They would bring the society and country the more equal and peaceful social environment.