How to Deal With the People Who Are Stupid and Obsessed With Something?

 

Author: Tao Qing Hsu (Hsu, Tao-qing)

 

Those who are our relatives and friends are not always intelligent persons are always living and around us, and cause us a lot of trouble and anxiety, even make us want to leave them and to abandon them. Some smart people say that we are not saviors and we don’t have to shoulder their heavy burden of mental problem and the caused anxiety. This is the normal and most peoples thinking in the world. But for those of us who have a mission, this may not be the case.

 

Those who are stupid and obsessed have some characteristics. Foolish obsessed with the material desire and its things are the common and most characteristics.   

 

One day, I felt so tired to get along with the people who are stupid and obsessed. As my observation for the people in the world, those who are stupid and obsessed have the following characteristics:

 

Their intelligence quotient is normal. Their expressive and comprehensible skills are normal, too. Some of them are highly educated. Even though some of them have no higher school education, they are smart people. However, there is some kind of intellectual disability in their mentality. That is because they always addict to the material desire and its things, such as money, wealth, woman, wife, children, famous car, or various power, etc. They make it the most important thing in life, and think that others should do the same. In a word, they strongly base personal achievement on material desires. On a material level, they are indeed doing well and proud of themselves. However, it is not ruled out that their income may also come from improper means. This is not necessarily illegal, and some may just be morally flawed, however, it does not make others feel good. They thus despise others and discriminate against others for being less intelligent than they are. Basically, they are lack of the motive to learn the knowledge in the spirit level. That is why they live with a closed minded and forget that any danger and accident might be happened to them. Moreover, they always want to pass on their closed thoughts to others, and even disturb others and hinder the development of other people's lives. Oddly enough, they think what they have done are helping others with good intentions.

 

Everyone has a different point of view that can be consulted and debated. However, if anyone misuses either point of view, it can do disastrous harm to humanity and to the world.

 

I find that the stupid and obsessed people as mentioned above exist everywhere, especially in countries that emphasize material life. That is why I am bothered and harassed. Therefore, I search the relative articles in the internet about how to get along with the stupid people. I read an article which title is “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People”. The content is also demonstrated the author’s logical thinking, and exists its discussing basis by quoting old classics, and it seems reasonable. I do not deny that some of his views in the content may be acceptable by people. For example, in the last paragraph, he kindly advises the readers who think they are stupid people not to be used and sacrificed vainly.

 

However, if people don’t have the ability of speculative, the training of logical thinking, and the edifying of the moral education, after they agree to this opinion about “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People” with paranoid minded, and after they pursue it as the principle of their career and life, they would mistakenly use it to inhibit the development of others people and purposely make them be stupid forever in order to fight, defeat and control them, so as to make themselves succeed. It is extremely dangerous and unfortunate for the public that such a person who believes the said idea may become a political leader by using politics in a wrong way to fool the masses or may become a leader of a religious group by distorting religious teachings to fool the masses. Such a leader controls the masses and therefore contents the leader’s own greedy desire. Unfortunately, such events are existed in the modern time. In my opinions, it's really the ignorant taking advantage of the most ignorant. The stupid and obsessed people bullies the most stupid and obsessed people. Even if many people are helplessly oppressed, it seems that this fact cannot be changed. Why?

 

People who are brainwashed by specious ideology usually lack flexibility and open thinking, tolerance for others and independent thinking ability, and they deliberately interfere, block and destroy people who question their opinions in a self-righteous way.

 

Firstly, these people’s brains are strongly washed and manipulated by plausible ideology and they stubbornly believe it and opinionatedly think it is right.

 

Secondly, when people question the brainwashed and plausible statements, or people are in the different opinion about their brainwashed belief, these manipulated people think that others people insult their leader, despise and attack their approbatory ideology. Therefore, these manipulated people use any unscrupulous means to suppress the voices and opinions of others, including purposely destroy someone else's social media account so as to let him shut up forever in the freedom and democratic country.

 

Thirdly, in their closed idea and environment, these brainwashed people by the plausible ideology strongly distribute their ideology in the social media, or they lure others into their organization at school or any group. This situation is also happened in the freedom and democratic country. This kind of harm to humans is gradual, like boiling frogs in warm water. However, people may ignore these phenomena for their own interests.

 

Fourthly, these brainwashed people by the plausible ideology have Stockholm Syndrome. Unfortunately, they don’t have such self-awareness. Furthermore, most people don’t have such knowledge, too. Even though this, they are still willing to make friends or do business dealings with these brainwashed people. For Stockholm Syndrome, please refer to Notes. In my opinions, no matter which kind of persons are mentioned above, they do encourage the ignorant behavior of the ignorant leaders and its closed environment as formed.

 

Educated and moral people do not achieve themselves at the expense of sacrificing stupid persons.

 

When I first read the article “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People”, I was so shocked by this idea, because it really violates our moral education and mainstream thinking in Taiwan. This makes me realize that someone else had this idea and lived in a different world from me. I do not rule out that someone is operating and trying to dominate the world with this kind of concept, and this person is also a person of high authority and influence in the world. At present, their influence is affecting us through Taiwan's free Internet and media. This kind of value that strongly prioritizes selfishness and utilitarianism as the correct idea often shocks and impacts my perception of traditional virtues. Fortunately, Taiwan is a society that emphasizes information disclosure, mutual tolerance, and good cooperation. It is also a society that emphasizes creating a win-win situation and sharing knowledge and wisdom for common prosperity. Basically, educated and moral people in Taiwan do not achieve themselves at the expense of sacrificing stupid persons.

 

For the stupid and obsessed people, the best advice is to give them wisdom.

 

Therefore, we know that the stupid and obsessed people not only exist in the love and marriage relationship, the family relationship, and the friendship, but also exist in the politics and religious group. Basically there are people like this everywhere in the world. And the number is too numerous to count. There are close and distant relationships between people. For the stupid and obsessed people, the best advice is to give them wisdom. More precisely, it is to understand the situation and provide them with helpful, beneficial and open knowledge and wisdom according to their actual needs and what knowledge they actually lack. At this time, it is more important to educate them on morality and compassion. That is the wisdom includes the mercy.

 

Various kinds of knowledge and wisdom what we have given to the stupid and obsessed people must be built on virtue, compassion and empathy. These things must be done simultaneously.

 

Various kinds of knowledge and wisdom what we have given must be built on virtue, compassion and empathy. That is to teach them to have virtue, compassion and empathy. These things must be done simultaneously. Remember that helping others must base on the wisdom. If we only give them knowledge (or high technology; technology is one kind of knowledge) and we don’t give them wisdom and compassion, we encourage them to interfere, harass, suppress and hurt others even more. Stupid and obsessed people as said are stupid and obsessed because of their stubborn nature. If we only tell them about virtue, they will not listen. That's why we have to give them the various kinds of knowledge so as to arouse their interest, and then guide them.

 

When we firstly give them the various knowledge and wisdom, we'd better stop and see if they absorb and accept these knowledge and wisdom, and see if they have compassion and empathy for the beings. Based on my personal observation and experience, the chances of them being able to accept any knowledge and wisdom and change themselves are almost zero. This is because they are still alive in their self-righteous state of mind. Let's not give up at this time. We can still try to do it, observe it, and make adjustments at the same time.

 

Based on our relationship with the stupid and obsessed people and on their causes and conditions, we decide whether to abandon them.

 

At this time, it is based on our relationship with them and on their causes and conditions to decide whether to abandon them. If they are our close family members, and we find they still have the good nature, we should take time to save them by patiently providing them with knowledge and wisdom. Usually this takes some time. However, if they don't have the good nature, we abandon them, reduce interaction with them, or even stay away from them, and let them eat the fruits of what they have done. They are toxic-minded people. Leaving and abandoning them can ensure our safety and health in physical body and mental state, and make sure ours longevity. After observing their state, we wait for the opportunity to educate them and save them, if there are causes and conditions.

 

Severely stupid and obsessed people usually blind their good nature and use bad deeds as a means to achieve their goals. If we are not aware and vigilant enough, we become victims of their stupidity. If we are wise, we know that we should leave them as soon as we can. Of course, this premise is that we must be aware of those people who are foolish obsessed with something and it may hurt us.

 

Usually this kind of persons will end up in serious crimes such as violence, sexual assault, greed for property, etc. If they are powerful dictators, they may even launch aggressive wars or any terrible attack. This is beyond the ability of ordinary people to face and deal with. At this time, it is still necessary for the governments to take out both the punishment from the stick and the moral persuasion to let them choose. This also takes some time. 

 

If we want to ensure our own physical and mental health and longevity, we really need to have a deep understanding of stupid and obsessed people and how to deal with them.

 

Stupid and obsessed people usually have paranoid thoughts. If anything violates their selfish desire, they even generate the hatred minded to others. They can even be emotional blackmailers if they want to satisfy their own selfish desires. These narrow minds will not only make them lose their focus on bright, open, and positive things, but even make them tense and anxious, filling them with negative energy to hurt others, or even commit suicide. This kind of harm to people is no less than that of people who are greedy or hatred. Unfortunately, most people are unaware and not alert to such people. They don't even know why until they die because of it. This is a human tragedy, but we have become accustomed to it. If we want to ensure our own physical and mental health and longevity, we really need to have a deep understanding of stupid and obsessed people and how to deal with them.

 

Finally, I would like to remind readers that if you find someone else is a stupid and obsessed person, don't say it bluntly in front of him. We just need to know it in our hearts. This is to avoid unintentionally offending this person and being punished by him in a vengeful manner. Keep that in mind.

Note 1.: Stockholm Syndrome (Stockholm Syndrome), or hostage complex, refers to the victim's feelings for the perpetrator, and even agree with the perpetrator's point of view, which in turn helps the perpetrator's complex.

 

Stockholm syndrome (English: Stockholm syndrome; Swedish: Stockholmssyndromet) is also known as hostage complex and hostage syndrome. thoughts, and even a complex of helping the perpetrator in turn.

 

Stockholm Syndrome can be regarded as a kind of trauma bondage, which does not necessarily only happen to hostages, as long as the perpetrator harasses the victim, the victim may have strong emotions towards the perpetrator. According to Freud's theory, Stockholm Syndrome is a self-defense mechanism. When victims believe in the perpetrator's ideas, they will feel that they are no longer threatened. Stockholm syndrome is not an official term for mental illness. Stockholm Syndrome tends to be a hypothetical state that people use to cover up that they don't want to discuss issues.

Citations and Reference Links:

以愛之名控制人要小心！醫曝「斯德哥爾摩症候群」8症狀…別當愛情俘虜 https://health.ettoday.net/news/1708180#ixzz7y3uFmlq3

Stockholm syndrome https://zh.wikipedia.org/

Note 2.: I do not rule out the fact that a victim of a closed group becomes the leader of the closed group because of the "Stockholm Syndrome" and then becomes the perpetrator.

Note 3.: I add here another point. I do not rule out that there are people who are only foolishly attached to the spirit and its affairs alone and misuse it, for example, some kind of ideology in the realm of spirit. However, this is another topic. It is not in the discussion of this article. Their possible situations can also be deduced from the discussion in this article. This is a similar reason, which can be speculated and referenced.

Why I am interested in learning Buddha?

 

Author: Tao Qing Hsu (Hsu, Tao-qing) 

 

Why I am interested in learning Buddha? Because I have realized that the Buddha and I are equal in Buddha-nature. The relationship between us is balanced. From learning Buddha, I finally understand what is the really self-confidence. Such self-confidence is coming from what I have realized that all of us are equal in the Body of Emptiness, and that the causes what we have thought and what we have done are equal to the results which we have to bear. So, each thought, especially the first thought, is one cause which is very important and should be careful. The sixth founder of Zen, Master Hui Neng, said that each thought shall have no evil opinion.  

 

This self-confidence is not coming from the surface of phenomenon, intelligent, success or rich, because such things are impermanent and always changing. Success in fortune, career, even to overbearing in the politic, is that the worldly opinion about the self-confidence. But, eventually, such self-confidence is ego-arrogance. There is an ancient Chinese saying.” Once a General has success, ten-thousand human bones have been dried.”

(Prologue) A Brief Talk about The Scripture of Forty-Two Chapters Said by Buddha

Co-translators in the time of Eastern Han Dynasty, China(A.D. 25 - 200) : Kasyapa Matanga and Zhu Falan (Who translated the said Scripture from Sanskrit into Chinese. )

Translator in modern time (A.D.2018: Tao Qing Hsu (Who translated the said Scripture from Chinese into English.)

Teacher and writer for explaining the said Scripture: Tao Qing Hsu

The Content 

Prologue

The World-Honored One, having attained Buddhahood, made such meditation, that leaving away from the desire, to be in the state of silence, is the best victory. Dwelling in the grand meditation, conquering all paths of demons, the Buddha whirled the Law-Wheel of the Four Noble Truths in the Deer-Wild Garden, and saved Ajñāta Kaundinya and so five persons who had thus proved the fruit of Dao. There were also various questions said by Bhikkhu who inquired the Buddha about the go-ahead and stopping. The teaching and admonition of the World-Honored One let them enlighten one by one. Putting palms of hands together, they respectfully promised to thus comply with the World-Honored One’s admonition.                                                                                      

This prologue introduced the cause, condition, and situation about the saying for the following forty-two chapters.

“The World-Honored One” which is one of the ten names of Buddha, is that the Buddhist disciples respectfully call their teacher, the Buddha Sakyamuni, when they are learning and talking about the practice or teaching of Buddha with their teacher. Why it is called “the World-Honored One”, because that the Buddha owns many virtues which are esteemed by the public, the ordinary people and the saints in world and the people in heaven. After Siddhartha had died, the public respectfully call him as the Buddha Sakyamuni, it is especially showed in Chinese scripture of Buddhism. Enlightened people would not call themselves as Buddha or the World-Honored One. Why? Think about it.   

“Having attained Buddhahood” means that Siddhartha had enlightened and liberated from the all worldly suffering, was able to speak of the Buddha-law for the public, and saved the people who are suffering.

“Made such meditation” means that he sat down under the Bodhi tree and deep contemplated how to save the people who are suffering.

“That leaving away from the desire, to be in the state of silence, is the best victory.” We can find that the thought of Buddha Sakyamuni is different from the ordinary people. Most people think that having the family, authority, wealth, high status in work or in society, which is that they have the advantages more than others, is the victory. If they want to have so many things, they must have the strong desire for those things, and must have the flexible social skill, otherwise, they would not achieve the success. However, the Buddha Sakyamuni thought that leaving away from the desire, to be in the state of silence, is the best victory.

In other word, that is, no competition, no fight, no argument, and no heart to achieve the worldly success, are the best victory. From we are a child, that what we are educated are implanted the concept of success about the competition, fighting, and argument for our better life, no matter we are in the school or in the society. It seems that if we do not do such things, we will be a loser in our society, in the world and in our whole life. And it seems that if there are no such concepts for our children or the public, our country will lose the power of competition in the world. Such concept make a lot of children and people are in the state of anxiety, fear, suffering and sulk, and make them have disease in physical and mental body. Then, we must exhaust the people’s physical and spiritual strength and health resources, and spend a lot of time to treat these people.

Therefore, you might observe that what the secular concept to be thought the right, smart, and victory by the public is thought by Buddha Sakyamuni as no brightness. In other word, what the thought of the ordinary people is darkness and stupidity.

A lot of people think that such concept of Buddha Sakyamuni will be no positive and will let their children or people lose the competition for their life in the world. I have to say that they all misunderstand the teaching of Buddha. In fact, the positive desire occurs from no desire and from the state of silence. Why? If the Buddha Sakyamuni had no desire, how could it be possible for him to speak of the Buddha-law for 49 years and to save sentient beings to liberate from the suffering? In other word, his desire had been sublimated by himself. Then, we might have questions. What is the difference between his desire and the desire of the ordinary people? Or what is the desire about the teaching of Buddha? Think about it. From this scripture, you might find it.

In the narrow explaining, the desire means filth such as the greedy for money, loving the erotic, and so occurred the hatred to the people, the arrogance and the un-trusting, that would defile our heart so to hurt ourselves and others, and make us suffer. So, the motivation of such desire is selfishness. In such a situation, the heart is like large waves, how could it be in peace? Leaving away from such desire, there would be no affliction. Our heart would be in the state of peace and silence, which means that the heart is clear, clean and pure.      

“Dwelling in the grand meditation, conquering all paths of demons” which means that when Siddhartha dwelled in the grand meditation under the Bodhi tree, the demon in heaven wanted to test him, and to know whether Siddhartha had eliminated the desire in heart or not. Then, the demon transformed his family members into three beautiful girls, who lured Siddhartha with their beauty and sexy. Siddhartha did not be lured by them. On the contrary, Siddhartha assimilated them. And then, the demon in heaven became the supporter to protect and maintain the Buddhism and its scripture.        

“The Buddha whirled the Law-Wheel of the Four Noble Truths in the Deer-Wild Garden” which means Siddhartha speak of the Buddha-law in related to the Four Noble Truths, which means the suffering, the accumulating, the eliminating and the Dao. In Buddhism, whirling the Law-Wheel means to teach or speak of the Buddha-law. Siddhartha in the profound contemplation had found that the sentient beings were suffering, and accumulating the suffering every day. When they have a thought to eliminate their suffering, they then would go into the Dao for liberating themselves from the suffering, which means that they would go into the path of Buddha.

Regarding the suffering, there are eight suffering being mentioned, which are the suffering of life, aging, disease, death, departing from the loved or the loved leaving, meeting each other in hatred, demanding which could not be content, and the suffering of flaming in five aggregations.

These sufferings would be accumulated day by day and thus increase our affliction. Only when we feel such affliction, we would have a thought to eliminate the suffering. It is thus possible for us to practice the Dao and prove the Dao, which means to liberate ourselves from the suffering and furthermore to help others liberate themselves from the suffering.

The Deer-Wild Garden(the Sanskrit is mṛgá-dāva) is a famous place in India. In the legend, there were two Pusa who transformed to be the Deer-King and to offer themselves to the Human-King so as to protect the deer herd. The Human-King promised and built a garden to protect the deer herd. So the place was called the Deer-Wild Garden. It is the first place that Siddhartha whirled the Law-Wheel, which is why it is so famous.

“Saved Ajñāta Kaundinya and so five persons who had thus proved the fruit of Dao.” When Siddhartha had enlightened under the Bodhi tree, he thought which one could be saved. Then, he thought of the five persons, who were his relatives and his protector to company with him to practice the Dao. Ajñāta Kaundinya is one of them. They had experienced the ascetic practice together. But, Siddhartha finally find that the ascetic practice did not work for enlightenment. Siddhartha then accepted the offering of milk by a girl. Ajñāta Kaundinya and so five persons thought that Siddhartha gave up the ascetic practice and then left him. After Siddhartha accepted the offering of milk by a girl, he returned back the Bodhi tree and sat down to meditate continually. Then, at one night, he had completely enlightened. After that, he talked about the first scripture “The scripture of grand-direction-widely-Fo-flower-solemn ” which Sanskrit is mahā-vaipulya-buddhâvataṃsaka-sūtra. This is an amazing scripture. However, it is pity that it is hard to be understood by the ordinary people. So he had to talk about what the ordinary people could accept and understand, such as this scripture.   

Ajñāta Kaundinya and so five persons were the first persons to be saved by Siddhartha and became his first disciple, who had proved the fruit of Dao. That means that they have attained the fruit of Arhat. So when we are enlightened, who will be saved by us? Of course, our family members or relatives will be the first. Then, how these people to be enlightened? When you carefully read, understand and realize this scripture, you will know.

“There were also various questions said by Bhikkhu who inquired the Buddha about the go-ahead and stopping.” Bhikkhu is Sanskrit. It means Buddhist monk. It also had the meanings of breaking through the evil in heart, terrifying the demon, purifying to obey the precepts, and the begging scholar which means that they practice the Dao to cut off their troubles, to conquer the demon inside and outside, to obey the precepts with clean heart, and to beg food so as to maintain their life for practicing the Dao and eliminating the greedy heart.

The evil in heart and the demon of inside and outside means the troubles and afflictions in heart. The go-ahead and stopping are related to how to put the Dao into practice, what should go ahead and what should be stopped when practicing the Dao, which is also mentioned in this scripture.

“The teaching and admonition of the World-Honored One let them enlighten one by one. Putting palms of hands together, they respectfully promised to thus comply with the World-Honored One’s admonition.” So, if you had completely understood and realize this scripture, you might be inspired or enlightened just as same as those Buddhist monks.