How to Deal With the People Who Are Stupid and Obsessed With Something?

 

Author: Tao Qing Hsu (Hsu, Tao-qing)

 

Those who are our relatives and friends are not always intelligent persons are always living and around us, and cause us a lot of trouble and anxiety, even make us want to leave them and to abandon them. Some smart people say that we are not saviors and we don’t have to shoulder their heavy burden of mental problem and the caused anxiety. This is the normal and most peoples thinking in the world. But for those of us who have a mission, this may not be the case.

 

Those who are stupid and obsessed have some characteristics. Foolish obsessed with the material desire and its things are the common and most characteristics.   

 

One day, I felt so tired to get along with the people who are stupid and obsessed. As my observation for the people in the world, those who are stupid and obsessed have the following characteristics:

 

Their intelligence quotient is normal. Their expressive and comprehensible skills are normal, too. Some of them are highly educated. Even though some of them have no higher school education, they are smart people. However, there is some kind of intellectual disability in their mentality. That is because they always addict to the material desire and its things, such as money, wealth, woman, wife, children, famous car, or various power, etc. They make it the most important thing in life, and think that others should do the same. In a word, they strongly base personal achievement on material desires. On a material level, they are indeed doing well and proud of themselves. However, it is not ruled out that their income may also come from improper means. This is not necessarily illegal, and some may just be morally flawed, however, it does not make others feel good. They thus despise others and discriminate against others for being less intelligent than they are. Basically, they are lack of the motive to learn the knowledge in the spirit level. That is why they live with a closed minded and forget that any danger and accident might be happened to them. Moreover, they always want to pass on their closed thoughts to others, and even disturb others and hinder the development of other people's lives. Oddly enough, they think what they have done are helping others with good intentions.

 

Everyone has a different point of view that can be consulted and debated. However, if anyone misuses either point of view, it can do disastrous harm to humanity and to the world.

 

I find that the stupid and obsessed people as mentioned above exist everywhere, especially in countries that emphasize material life. That is why I am bothered and harassed. Therefore, I search the relative articles in the internet about how to get along with the stupid people. I read an article which title is “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People”. The content is also demonstrated the author’s logical thinking, and exists its discussing basis by quoting old classics, and it seems reasonable. I do not deny that some of his views in the content may be acceptable by people. For example, in the last paragraph, he kindly advises the readers who think they are stupid people not to be used and sacrificed vainly.

 

However, if people don’t have the ability of speculative, the training of logical thinking, and the edifying of the moral education, after they agree to this opinion about “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People” with paranoid minded, and after they pursue it as the principle of their career and life, they would mistakenly use it to inhibit the development of others people and purposely make them be stupid forever in order to fight, defeat and control them, so as to make themselves succeed. It is extremely dangerous and unfortunate for the public that such a person who believes the said idea may become a political leader by using politics in a wrong way to fool the masses or may become a leader of a religious group by distorting religious teachings to fool the masses. Such a leader controls the masses and therefore contents the leader’s own greedy desire. Unfortunately, such events are existed in the modern time. In my opinions, it's really the ignorant taking advantage of the most ignorant. The stupid and obsessed people bullies the most stupid and obsessed people. Even if many people are helplessly oppressed, it seems that this fact cannot be changed. Why?

 

People who are brainwashed by specious ideology usually lack flexibility and open thinking, tolerance for others and independent thinking ability, and they deliberately interfere, block and destroy people who question their opinions in a self-righteous way.

 

Firstly, these people’s brains are strongly washed and manipulated by plausible ideology and they stubbornly believe it and opinionatedly think it is right.

 

Secondly, when people question the brainwashed and plausible statements, or people are in the different opinion about their brainwashed belief, these manipulated people think that others people insult their leader, despise and attack their approbatory ideology. Therefore, these manipulated people use any unscrupulous means to suppress the voices and opinions of others, including purposely destroy someone else's social media account so as to let him shut up forever in the freedom and democratic country.

 

Thirdly, in their closed idea and environment, these brainwashed people by the plausible ideology strongly distribute their ideology in the social media, or they lure others into their organization at school or any group. This situation is also happened in the freedom and democratic country. This kind of harm to humans is gradual, like boiling frogs in warm water. However, people may ignore these phenomena for their own interests.

 

Fourthly, these brainwashed people by the plausible ideology have Stockholm Syndrome. Unfortunately, they don’t have such self-awareness. Furthermore, most people don’t have such knowledge, too. Even though this, they are still willing to make friends or do business dealings with these brainwashed people. For Stockholm Syndrome, please refer to Notes. In my opinions, no matter which kind of persons are mentioned above, they do encourage the ignorant behavior of the ignorant leaders and its closed environment as formed.

 

Educated and moral people do not achieve themselves at the expense of sacrificing stupid persons.

 

When I first read the article “One's Success must Learn to Rely on Stupid People”, I was so shocked by this idea, because it really violates our moral education and mainstream thinking in Taiwan. This makes me realize that someone else had this idea and lived in a different world from me. I do not rule out that someone is operating and trying to dominate the world with this kind of concept, and this person is also a person of high authority and influence in the world. At present, their influence is affecting us through Taiwan's free Internet and media. This kind of value that strongly prioritizes selfishness and utilitarianism as the correct idea often shocks and impacts my perception of traditional virtues. Fortunately, Taiwan is a society that emphasizes information disclosure, mutual tolerance, and good cooperation. It is also a society that emphasizes creating a win-win situation and sharing knowledge and wisdom for common prosperity. Basically, educated and moral people in Taiwan do not achieve themselves at the expense of sacrificing stupid persons.

 

For the stupid and obsessed people, the best advice is to give them wisdom.

 

Therefore, we know that the stupid and obsessed people not only exist in the love and marriage relationship, the family relationship, and the friendship, but also exist in the politics and religious group. Basically there are people like this everywhere in the world. And the number is too numerous to count. There are close and distant relationships between people. For the stupid and obsessed people, the best advice is to give them wisdom. More precisely, it is to understand the situation and provide them with helpful, beneficial and open knowledge and wisdom according to their actual needs and what knowledge they actually lack. At this time, it is more important to educate them on morality and compassion. That is the wisdom includes the mercy.

 

Various kinds of knowledge and wisdom what we have given to the stupid and obsessed people must be built on virtue, compassion and empathy. These things must be done simultaneously.

 

Various kinds of knowledge and wisdom what we have given must be built on virtue, compassion and empathy. That is to teach them to have virtue, compassion and empathy. These things must be done simultaneously. Remember that helping others must base on the wisdom. If we only give them knowledge (or high technology; technology is one kind of knowledge) and we don’t give them wisdom and compassion, we encourage them to interfere, harass, suppress and hurt others even more. Stupid and obsessed people as said are stupid and obsessed because of their stubborn nature. If we only tell them about virtue, they will not listen. That's why we have to give them the various kinds of knowledge so as to arouse their interest, and then guide them.

 

When we firstly give them the various knowledge and wisdom, we'd better stop and see if they absorb and accept these knowledge and wisdom, and see if they have compassion and empathy for the beings. Based on my personal observation and experience, the chances of them being able to accept any knowledge and wisdom and change themselves are almost zero. This is because they are still alive in their self-righteous state of mind. Let's not give up at this time. We can still try to do it, observe it, and make adjustments at the same time.

 

Based on our relationship with the stupid and obsessed people and on their causes and conditions, we decide whether to abandon them.

 

At this time, it is based on our relationship with them and on their causes and conditions to decide whether to abandon them. If they are our close family members, and we find they still have the good nature, we should take time to save them by patiently providing them with knowledge and wisdom. Usually this takes some time. However, if they don't have the good nature, we abandon them, reduce interaction with them, or even stay away from them, and let them eat the fruits of what they have done. They are toxic-minded people. Leaving and abandoning them can ensure our safety and health in physical body and mental state, and make sure ours longevity. After observing their state, we wait for the opportunity to educate them and save them, if there are causes and conditions.

 

Severely stupid and obsessed people usually blind their good nature and use bad deeds as a means to achieve their goals. If we are not aware and vigilant enough, we become victims of their stupidity. If we are wise, we know that we should leave them as soon as we can. Of course, this premise is that we must be aware of those people who are foolish obsessed with something and it may hurt us.

 

Usually this kind of persons will end up in serious crimes such as violence, sexual assault, greed for property, etc. If they are powerful dictators, they may even launch aggressive wars or any terrible attack. This is beyond the ability of ordinary people to face and deal with. At this time, it is still necessary for the governments to take out both the punishment from the stick and the moral persuasion to let them choose. This also takes some time. 

 

If we want to ensure our own physical and mental health and longevity, we really need to have a deep understanding of stupid and obsessed people and how to deal with them.

 

Stupid and obsessed people usually have paranoid thoughts. If anything violates their selfish desire, they even generate the hatred minded to others. They can even be emotional blackmailers if they want to satisfy their own selfish desires. These narrow minds will not only make them lose their focus on bright, open, and positive things, but even make them tense and anxious, filling them with negative energy to hurt others, or even commit suicide. This kind of harm to people is no less than that of people who are greedy or hatred. Unfortunately, most people are unaware and not alert to such people. They don't even know why until they die because of it. This is a human tragedy, but we have become accustomed to it. If we want to ensure our own physical and mental health and longevity, we really need to have a deep understanding of stupid and obsessed people and how to deal with them.

 

Finally, I would like to remind readers that if you find someone else is a stupid and obsessed person, don't say it bluntly in front of him. We just need to know it in our hearts. This is to avoid unintentionally offending this person and being punished by him in a vengeful manner. Keep that in mind.

Note 1.: Stockholm Syndrome (Stockholm Syndrome), or hostage complex, refers to the victim's feelings for the perpetrator, and even agree with the perpetrator's point of view, which in turn helps the perpetrator's complex.

 

Stockholm syndrome (English: Stockholm syndrome; Swedish: Stockholmssyndromet) is also known as hostage complex and hostage syndrome. thoughts, and even a complex of helping the perpetrator in turn.

 

Stockholm Syndrome can be regarded as a kind of trauma bondage, which does not necessarily only happen to hostages, as long as the perpetrator harasses the victim, the victim may have strong emotions towards the perpetrator. According to Freud's theory, Stockholm Syndrome is a self-defense mechanism. When victims believe in the perpetrator's ideas, they will feel that they are no longer threatened. Stockholm syndrome is not an official term for mental illness. Stockholm Syndrome tends to be a hypothetical state that people use to cover up that they don't want to discuss issues.

Citations and Reference Links:

以愛之名控制人要小心！醫曝「斯德哥爾摩症候群」8症狀…別當愛情俘虜 https://health.ettoday.net/news/1708180#ixzz7y3uFmlq3

Stockholm syndrome https://zh.wikipedia.org/

Note 2.: I do not rule out the fact that a victim of a closed group becomes the leader of the closed group because of the "Stockholm Syndrome" and then becomes the perpetrator.

Note 3.: I add here another point. I do not rule out that there are people who are only foolishly attached to the spirit and its affairs alone and misuse it, for example, some kind of ideology in the realm of spirit. However, this is another topic. It is not in the discussion of this article. Their possible situations can also be deduced from the discussion in this article. This is a similar reason, which can be speculated and referenced.

Chapter 16: Abandon the love and gain the Dao (updated on 22 Dec, 2021)

(Chapter 16) A Brief Talk about The Scripture of Forty-Two Chapters Said by Buddha 

Co-translators in the time of Eastern Han Dynasty, China(A.D. 25 - 200) : 

Kasyapa Matanga and Zhu Falan (Who translated the said Scripture from Sanskrit into Chinese. )

Translator in modern time (A.D.2018: Tao Qing Hsu (Who translated the said Scripture from Chinese into English.)

Teacher and writer for explaining the said Scripture: Tao Qing Hsu

Chapter 16: Abandon the love and gain the Dao

The Buddha said,” People hold the love and desire, and can not see the Dao. It is as the clear water is stirred by hand; the public reach and approach this water together; there is no one who can see its own image. People interlace the love with desire. The turbidity is thrived in heart. That is why they can not see the Dao. All of you Sramanas should abandon the love and desire. The filth of love and desire ending, the Dao could be seen. “

There are different methods to teach in Buddhism.

The topic is mostly for the Buddhist monk, Sramana. The topic could also help us learn Buddha, or make a reference and value to promote our life to be good, even though we are not Buddhist monk.

Buddha Sakyamuni had ever told his disciples how and why the love and desire is generated and how and why we are concealed by the love and desire in life, and let us could not see the truth or make us could not see the Dao. That is there are the reasons that would result in any consequences. Basically, Buddhism is not the superstition. On the contrary, it is very logical and wise.

However, for the public, it is some kind of hard for them to understand the reasoning. Under this circumstance, telling the story, even the magical story is easier to be accepted by the public. That is also why those who don't understand the Buddhism and are focused on the reasoning would think that Buddhism is blind faith. Then, think about it; which one that we would be? Do we prefer to accept the reasoning or the told story? Or, both of them could be accepted by us?

How and why the love and desire are generated.

If we have ever research the psychology or the growing process of human beings, we would have read the Freudian personality development theory. The age 1-2 is in the period of oral organ. The infant needs to suck the nipple so as to content the desire of oral organ. If we purposely take off its plastic nipple, the infant would be unhappy and cry loudly. In this period of time, the original seed of the love and desire has already been planted in its mind. That is, there is the subconscious of the love and desire in the infant. That is their original instinct.

If we track and date back to the infancy before, a thought of no light, that is one of the eighth conscious and one of the seed of no light, go into the embryo; that is the soul as we call generally. Then, the infant is growing and follows the self-six-roots in its body; it is affected by the outer conditions and such changes, such as the video game, education from family, the school education, and so on; its love and desire in its mind are developed and changed gradually. The self-six-roots mean the root of eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind.

For example, our eyes would follow the colors of dresses, the forms of hairs, the performance or the appearance of any human beings. Our ears would follow the sounds, such as soft sound, powerful sound or dull voice. Our nose would follow the smell, such as fragrance or stinky. Our tongue would follow the taste, such as salty, sour, sweet or spicy. Our body would follow the sense of touch, such as the feeling of smooth or rough. Our mind would follow the various feeling of aforesaid five roots from self and others. We thus generate the self-consciousness, differentiating and concept about the feeling of likes and dislikes for anything in the outer world.

Our roots and mind are obsessed in such outer changes and thus are tangled in those things. We have made a choice what we love accordingly and want to own something from it. And our love and desire are therefore generated and developed in such process, and never stop, even to die for it. For example, some people prefer to die for their woman or man, or for fortune.

Furthermore, the five poisons (greedy, hatred or resentment, stupid-obsession, arrogance and suspicion) are therefore happened according to the love and desire. And it thus occur the more complex development and changes to affect or harm the self and others, including any fighting in life or in society, or any unexpected war in the domestic or in the international. If we profoundly observe the fighting in politic or any war, we could find that is because some persons want to content their original and personal love and desire. That is their subconscious motivation.

Some evil persons know about the human weakness. That is the strong feeling of love and desire, and therefore to generate the five poisons. So, the evil persons would follow their love and desire, and use the human weakness to threaten, control, harm and slave the people. What happened is not only in the cruel dictatorship politic, but also in the ignorant lovers or the couples, even to the parent treat the children. So, extending such love and desire, it becomes some kind of the power of control for contenting the personal love and desire, and is formed to be the authority which is not allowed and unable to be challenged by anyone.

In other word, the love and desire not only harm others and make the worries to others, but also harm the self and cause the self trouble finally. However, most people do not have such self perceiving. On the contrary, they seem to enjoy in the great dream and the illusion, and are concealed by their own love and desire.

All of the outer changes are like the illusion. And any feeling and emotion thus occurred in inner heart are also the illusion. Those things are not permanent. That is because it is appeared by conditions and would be disappeared in any time by conditions, too. Those things are also like the dust or filth would dirty and disrupt our clear mind and heart. And it thus makes us unable to see the original nature of the self, which is the mind and heart of peace, stillness, clear and pure.

In sum up, the disorder of self mind and heart would make the disorder of the others mind and heart, and many disorder of many minds and hearts would seriously make the world disorder. 

That is why the Buddha said,” People hold the love and desire, and can not see the Dao. It is such as the clear water is stirred by hand; the public reach and approach this water together; there is no one who could see its own image. People interlace the love with desire. The turbidity is thrived in heart. That is why they can not see the Dao. All of you Sramanas should abandon the love and desire. The filth of love and desire ending, the Dao could be seen. “

What is the Dao? If you have no concept about it, you can make a reference or read Chapter 2: Cutting off the desire and no demanding or Chapter 13: Ask about the Dao and destiny in this blog.

Why the Dao could be seen? When we clearly understand what our true colors and what our nature is, that is our mind and heart is no longer disorder, we would then clearly know what we are doing in each moment and thus we could clearly see what the Dao we are walking. 

In the teaching of Buddha, abandoning the love and desire is one of the very important teachings. It is mentioned in many Buddhist Scripture. But, for the disciples or those who want to learn Buddha, it is really difficult for them to put it into the practice in life. That is because such habit has been rooted and it is not easy to remove.

Furthermore, there are the reasons from the physical body and mental body, such as the Hormonal hormone is naturally generated in the physical body. Sometimes, it is really hard to repress it and to ask it not to be happened. In the mental body, most people are demanded by their parent to have children so as to continue their family life, career and property. That is also why most people could not accept the Buddhism and do not allow their children to be Buddhist monk or nun.

However, do you know why abandoning the love and desire is so important in learning Buddha? If we don’t have a lot of love and desire, we would not come to birth on earth. That is also because we have a lot of love and desire, and we thus reincarnate again and again in life and death and suffer from it. That is to die here and to birth there, and to birth here and to die there. And it would not stop forever until we have abandoned the selfish love and desire. We then are able to jump out the reincarnation in life and death and its suffering. 

How to abandon the love and desire?

For abandoning the love and desire, there are some methods to practice it for the Buddhist monk or nun. One of the methods is to view the bone of the dead body by naked-eyes or to observe the white bone of human body in self-mind while meditation-sitting.

Why to do that? By such method, we would know that, even the beautiful girl or the handsome boy, there is only a pile of white bones in the end with time passed by. To practice it for a long time, it would disrupt the stupid-obsession about the opposite sex, and thus to stop the love and desire for it. That is also meant to stop any trouble caused by stupid-obsession, or by the love and desire. On the basis of such practice, we would gradually abandon the love and desire for outer things. In other word, we would abandon any trouble and worries.  

Furthermore, the Buddha also had told stories to inspire our wisdom and thus to make us abandon the love and desire. 

Abandon but not abandon

Most Buddhist monk only knows to cut off or abandon the love and desire. But, they might do not know or would not mention another teaching from the Buddha about not to cut off or not to abandon the love and desire. Why? And How?     

If we persistently hold the love and desire, which means we persistently hold the trouble and worries, so we absolutely need to abandon it. However, if there were no love and desire in mind, which means there is no trouble and worries, so what we should abandon? Therefore, it is not existed any problem of abandon.

It is not to deny the existence of the love and desire, but to understand why it is possible for the love and desire not to exist. Most of the general people are insisting in having something, such as love and desire. It is easier to teach them to give up what they have. However, it is hard for them to understand what is emptiness or nothingness in mind. That is why it is harder to teach them the concept about not abandoning anything. When people do not have the profoundly understanding about the Buddhism, It is easier to be mistakenly understood and used by them for the no-abandoning love and desire.  

If you have read the following two articles in this blog : A Brief Talk About Cause And Result or Chapter12 ﹝17﹞  : Seeing the Nature and learning the Dao aredifficult.,  you might have the basic understanding about Buddhism, and might understand what is talked. However, if you have not yet read the aforesaid articles, have no concept about the Buddha-nature, and are interested in the new knowledge, I recommend you to read it. Such reading could avoid you to mistakenly understand the Buddhism.  

In Buddhism, there are the shallow teaching and the deep teaching. It is because the human intellectual and wisdom, and thus its ability of understanding, has the different level. On the internet, it is easy to search about the shallow teaching about Buddhism. However, it might not be helpful for the people who are focus on thinking and reasoning, and want to profoundly understand the Buddhism.

In the shallow teaching of Buddhism, it is only talked about to practice the good and not to do the evil, and thus to have a lot of bliss. They do not dare to talk about the emptiness-nature. Why? If we talk about the emptiness-nature every day, all people might leave and run away.

So, why it is abandoning but not abandoning? The answer is there, do you have found it?

Supplementary note: Dao is transliterated from Chinese, meaning way and method, deeper meaning as a system of learning or religion.

Dao is Tao, which is transliterated from Chinese. The original meaning of Dao is the way and path, and it is extended to be the truth of life that we can learn and practice in our lives.